In the famous parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15, once the younger son comes to his senses and realizes how terribly he has been acting, he decides to return home and tell his father “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.” It strikes me that this simple phrase is perhaps the first instance of an act of contrition, of sorts, and it has quite a bit to teach us about how we are to go to confession.
First, recall that the son had to think about what he has done wrong, and how it affected others. This was his examination of conscience. Fortunately for us, we don’t have to be brought as low as the pig sty to realize our sin! We are in fact encouraged by the saints to make regular, even daily examinations of conscience, each of which is helpful to prepare us for our next, regular confession.
Like the son in this moment, too, considering what our sins have led us to can also be helpful. “How many of my father’s hired workers have more than enough food to eat, but here am I, dying from hunger.” Again, it may not be as drastic or dire as this situation, but our sins always have consequences, and recognizing them can help us to realize how dreadfully dangerous sin truly is.
Next, the first word the son plans to say to his father is just that: “Father.” This is remarkably similar, and perhaps even the inspiration, for how we often begin our own confessions: “Bless me, Father.” Of course, we are confessing to a spiritual father in the priest, but as the multiple levels of the parable show, we are confessing through the priestly father to God our Father in heaven. This can help to orient our confessions, for it is never just to the priest. It is ultimately a reconciliation and “coming to terms” with God Himself, Who so mercifully waits for us in the confessional.
(As a side note, we ask the priest to bless us because confessing sins is difficult! Not only are we divulging sinful past, which can be embarrassing, but by ourselves we cannot even muster the courage to do so, much less the contrition needed for a proper reconciliation. This blessing can be an extra impetus of grace to help us do all this, even in a simple, “routine” confession.”)
After this, the son says “I have sinned.” Again, our own phrase continues thus: “Bless me Father, for I have sinned.” Notice first the pronoun: I. I have sinned. How important it is we confess our personal sins! We can never go into confession simply to tell the priest how awful everyone else is! No, I HAVE SINNED! That is why we are there in the first place: to ask forgiveness for what we personally have done. It is a complete waste of time to confess what others have or haven’t done, for that passes the buck and does not humbly acknowledge that we are the sinners coming before the judgment seat of God. God will judge others. In confession, we are to judge ourselves.
In addition to this, the rest of the phrase is as important: “I have sinned.” The confessional is for confessing sins. This may sound obvious, but how easy it is to tell the priest all of our virtues, or all the ways we are growing and all the good we are doing. And yet how proud this is! It completely misses the point of the moment, which, again, is to confess our sins, say we are sorry, and beg for forgiveness. Don’t praise yourself in the confessional. Accuse yourself.
The whole of this phrase also brings up another thing. “I have sinned” is three words. It is brief, and so too should be our confessions. To go on endless rants and tell long and winding stories is once again to miss the mark, and it can in fact be pride acting up anew. For such stories or useless details avoid the heart of the matter: the sin we are in need of confessing. Long tangents are distractions from the matter at hand: that we are sinners in need of mercy.
“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been [how long] since my last confession. My sins are x, y, z. I am sorry for these and any other sins I may have committed and cannot now recall.” See how short, sweet, and simple! No tangents, only my sins, and a humble acknowledgement of what I have or haven’t done. That’s all. How wise the Church is in giving us this extension of the prodigal son’s experience!
Let us return to the parable. “I have sinned against heaven and against you.” This alone is fodder for an examination of conscience, for no sin is without its ramifications. Even private sins are offenses against God and ourselves. But just as stubbing a single toe brings harm to the whole body, so too a single sin against God, against Christ, brings harm to the whole of the Church, Christ’s Mystical Body. When we sin against heaven, we easily sin against neighbor. That’s why confession reconciles us both with God and with the Church, for Christ abundantly heals what we so carelessly wound. It is a reconciliation with Christ and His whole Church, of which we are parts. This means that every confession rejoices all of heaven and brings healing to the whole Church!
Notice now that the son prepared, and memorized, what he wanted to tell the father. This applies to us, too, but not just with the sins we plan to say. It also applies to the act of contrition, a prayer that every Catholic should have memorized. Not to know this prayer is not to be prepared for confession, and we should never enter into a sacrament unprepared. Of course, we all have moments of memory lapse, and so many confessionals will have this prayer posted for such moments, but we should not rely on that nor use it as a crutch. We should be prepared.
Just consider all that the act of contrition has to teach us:
O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee. Sin displeases and offends God. Starting the prayer this way is a stark slap in the face that our sins are terrible in the sight of the Almighty, and for them we must humbly ask, beg, plead for forgiveness. In a word, we must say we are sorry. No offense is ever forgiven without the asking.
and I detest all my sins because of thy just punishments. How often do you use the word “detest”? My guess is not often. But by using it in this prayer, we are slowly taught with each recitation that we are to detest sin in all its forms. To use synonyms, we are to abhor, abominate, hate, and loathe sin. And this first because of our fear of hell—the just punishments of God. This is imperfect contrition (attrition) but still a good place to start even though we desire more than just this fear. That’s what the next line is about.
but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who art all good and deserving of all my love. Here we are declaring perfect contrition, again something of which we are not capable, but which we pray for in this act of contrition. This is the true reason to deplore sin: God is so good and loving, so merciful toward us, and we would never desire to harm someone we love, even on the natural level. How much more true must this be of someone on the supernatural level? Someone like God? This is the kind of contrition—certainly a gift given generously by God to anyone who asks—that makes saints.
I firmly resolve with the help of Thy grace to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin. Amen. This prayer ends with our stated resolutions. Stating these so often, even daily, helps to reinforce in our heart’s and mind’s pathways the intended way forward: that of conversion and penance. In other words, this phrase reminds us of the way of the Cross which we must all trek if we hope to make it to heaven. But because we end with that simple word amen (so be it), we acknowledge again that we cannot do it on our own. To take up our cross, to make amends for our sins, to sin no more is only possible with God’s help, and so we ask for it in this prayer, in this sacrament, and, please God, from the depths of our soul.
One single line of Scripture inspired all these thoughts. How rich is the Word of God! And how rich is God’s mercy. We are all the prodigal son (and his older brother, but that is another meditation for another time), and we all have the opportunity every time we go to confession to receive the Father’s loving embrace. We must simply, humbly confess ours sins. We must simply, humbly tell Him we are sorry. He has already prepared the feast, and the angels are waiting to rejoice. Go to confession. Let Him lift you up from the pig sty and show you what it means to be part of the Father’s house.